I keep having really weird, unreal dreams. Tonight the scene was England, where me and Allen were living in some apartment. Suddenly we heard a noise at the door, and I went to make sure it was still locked and secure. It wasn't, there was some sort of security block attached to the door that made it impossible to lock. I freaked, and then spotted a big police team outside, ready to arrest me. I freaked more. They said I was suspected of cheating at an exam, which gave me my grade in Maths B and allowed me into university (as if that was a massive crime, requiring about five police officers). I was very upset cause I knew I hadn't cheated, but they said I had been allowed to use a laptop during the test, and there was no way I could have scored so high without getting help from somewhere.

Wtf! It's not like I scored that high in maths anyway. Is this my alter ego dreaming for me? Anyway, I had to prove I could get the same score without cheating, so I had to do the test again. And then it turned into them dreams where it's like you want to run from something but can't get anywhere, you know? Except I had to do the test, but things kept stopping me. The pen broke, there was people around talking really loud so I couldn't concentrate. When I had finished about three assignments, I realised I had completely misunderstood them and had to restart.

Luckily I woke up before the police got to throw me in jail or anything.

I love Russel Brand, seriously. In this recent article on DigitalSpy entitled Russel Brand: 'I didn't break up Oasis' he comes out with this:

"He added: "I don't want to be the Oasis Yoko Ono without even getting to have sex with John Lennon!""

How is that not awesome? This reminded me and Allen how much we miss British TV, so we watched some old videos on youtube, like Russel's first appearance on the Jonathan Ross Show. I love it! There's nothing like watching a person who is obviously intelligent and has an excellent vocabulary, who is using it for nothing but making rude jokes and making people slightly uncomfortable.

More than once he mentions the Finality of Death in a tone of voice that suggests he has completely accepted that life is short and he may as well do what the hell he wants before it's over. What a character, and that's even without mentioning the outfit yet. Give me British TV back!

Your average British tv show:
Sid is 17 and has just got together with the girl he likes when she moves to Scotland. When trying to have a video chat with her online, he accidentally sees her getting undressed by some Scottish guy. What Sid doesn't know is the guy is gay and just helping her pick out the sexiest outfit to surprise her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Sid's parents are still married but the mum has left to fuck some German guy. Sid's dad is depressed and having a smoke and a whiskey on the couch when he suddenly dies from a heart attack or something. Sid finds him. He's all alone and doesn't know what to do so he leaves him there and goes to college, no emotion on his face.

Your average American tv show:
Grace is getting ready in her bathroom. She can hear her gay roommate Will dancing around in his own, bigger bathroom. Grace is jealous and shows Will how very small and inconvenient hers is. Will buys new shelves for her. She gets very mad, saying this doesn't solve the problem. Instead, she suggests knocking down the wall to make one big bathroom. Her female friend advices strongly against this, saying they will drive each other crazy with their annoying habits. Grace goes ahead anyway and makes one bathroom. Before long, the two roommates are arguing about leaving hair in the sink and forgetting to put the toilet lid down. Oh no, this is ruining their great friendship! What should they do NOW!?!?

Just saying. Americans always cause a fuss about everything. Just, calm down. It doesn't matter what it is, Christmas, Halloween, Prom night, losing your virginity, getting a zit, it's always a big friggin deal. I couldn't live like that.

Take a chill pill! Anyone agree?